PART 1: What if this is what it feels like when you’re pursuing your dream?

Back in 2018, when I decided to share the personal story of my recovery from heroin addiction in my mid-twenties publicly on SoYoung’s website and social channels - it was the result of something that I had been preparing to express for years, unbeknownst even to me.

I first dreamt up SoYoung back in 2005 as a new mom. I was wholly lit up with excitement to create a product that I envisioned - and at the same time, I single-mindedly decided to believe in myself no matter what.  I was determined not to allow the voice of doubt and unworthiness to win as it always had, until that moment.

I held a grand and inspiring vision of what success would look like and feel like but at the same time, I decided that I would only ever concern myself with the next small step.

Let me just say that I never, ever expected that this would go anywhere. But I just kept pretending to myself that it would.

The plan was always that when I got to the point where there was no next step, that I had completely run out of options and/or money, only then would I give up. At that point, I reasoned, at least I would be able to pat myself on the back and say "Good for you. You tried." And that would be it.

But what happened was that it kept going, and the small steps started adding up. And as I started to look back and reflect at the things that I had accomplished that I had never thought I could do, I became fascinated with the story that seemed to be unfolding.

Self-doubt accompanied me the whole way, as it does even to this day. And the sense that I had just been lucky and that the house of cards would fall at any moment. 

But I also asked myself “What if this is what it feels like when you’re pursuing your dream?”

 

As I continued along the path of rising up to each challenge as it presented itself, I came to understand this to be true. 

It was such a revelation to me that I became consumed with thoughts of how I could possibly share my experience with others, knowing how feeling unworthy and inadequate are uniquely universal to us all.

So in 2018,  I decided to start at the beginning of the story, and shared my dark night of the soul tale of addiction as well as my encounter with divine grace. Click here to read it.

Join me next week for the second part of this blog post.

In the meantime I invite you to ask yourself what it could feel like to pursue your own dreams.