Sadly, no, not for me. I fully admit that the idea of failure still terrifies me, sometimes keeps me awake at night.⠀
But then I remember the truth.⠀
In my mid 20s, a few years after graduating from university and holding down my first real job, I found myself living a double life as a heroin addict working at a financial institution. Can you imagine? Not good.⠀
Over the course of 4 years, I went from someone who was honest, responsible, and hardworking to someone who was -well, not. I lied, cheated, and stole and did many things I truly never thought I was capable of. (Interesting how that can go both ways.)⠀
I wanted to get clean from about 3 months into my addiction, but I had many conditions around it. I had to get clean without anyone (especially my parents) ever finding out about my problem. I could not miss work. It couldn't cost any money. It had to be my way or the highway.⠀
It was only when I was ready to fully surrender to the notion that I would do whatever it took to get clean - if the whole world knew about it - fine. If I had to leave behind my entire world and move away - so be it. If I had no credit for the next 5 years - you get the picture.⠀
From where I sit now, looking back at myself 21 years ago, I want to say to that self - "You see? It all worked out fine - better than fine, actually. So don't be scared."⠀
So, back to my present self and current fear of failure - I wonder what I'll be saying to this self 20 years from now?